That.Molly.Girl

When I knit time stands still.
I sit in a world of the past living in the now.
A world where things move slower
and with less about which to worry.

When I knit I have no demands to fulfill-
No questions to answer: where, when, or how?
A world with a woman’s grandchild below her,
and nothing for which to be sorry.

When I knit I have no burdens, no fears, no bills-
No decisions to make, no future to endow.
In a world where all doubt will cower
and in which nothing makes me wary.

And so I sit.
And so I knit.

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In lavender waves of mercy,
facing the sky I lay.
Embedded in leaves of greatness,
to witness the break of day.
In cerulean clouds of darkness,
I stand with arms outstretched.
I sit in the midst of night time,
to see the death of day.

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From the shadow of darkness, bad things come:
these are the things I fear.
Murder, killings, kidnaps too, bad things done:
these are the things I fear.
Closed doors, what’s behind? Not known, shadows lurk:
Open doors, evil, free to come in, shadows murk:
these are the things I fear.
Serpents, spiders, slither ’round,
creeping crawling on the ground,
these
white eyes, black eyes, red eyes too, staring into the souls of you
are
small corners filled with darkness, objects, waiting to leap out.
the…
silence– anything could happen
screams– shots fired, anything-
These Are The Things I Fear.

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For my Interpersonal Psychology class we were asked to read the chapters and write a reaction paper about anything that interested us. One topic particularly hit home: Proximity’s correlation with relationship satisfaction. As many of you know, I’ve found myself in a relationship lacking the almost essential element of proximity- or what the research seems to prove is essential. Here is my reaction:
Chapter three discusses proximity in regards to relationships. Van Horn makes the claim that “long-distance romantic relationships are generally less satisfying than are romances with partners who are nearby” (Van Horn et al., 1997). Gilbertson, Dindia and Allen also imply that the costs of a long distance relationship outweigh the benefits. (Gilbertson, Dindia, & Allen, 1998)
I agree that the costs of a long-distance relationship are high, but depending on the situation I do not believe that these costs outweigh the benefits.
In 2000 I fell in love with a boy from church. We were in the same ZIP code and saw each other a couple of times a week. Bornstein was right when he said that mere exposure could make someone fall in love. Unfortunately for me, the theory of reciprocity was not on my side, and it took Rial Sloan about 5 years of “mere exposure” to love me in return. We dated for a a few months in close proximity, until he left for college; the next year I left for college as well. Rindfuss and Stephen were correct- distance does nothing for the heart but rip it in pieces.
Fortunately, Rial and I were very logical with our relationship and weighed the costs and benefits. I’m glad the book also mentions the idea of “virtual proximity.” We have been a long-distance couple for 2 years, and have serious plans for the future. I concur that new technology can only defer the “impending doom” or a break-up– but only if it’s going to remain long-distance indefinitely.
When you know the benefits far outweigh the costs of being in a long-distance relationship, its the longing for the proximity that keeps you holding on. It takes a toll on the heart, but that makes the moment when you’re reunited even sweeter.

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This is one of my more recent poems. I wrote it upon entering Georgia State University in 2006. The park across the road from my apartment was the inspiration, if you’ve ever been to Hurt Park, or any of the many parks in Atlanta, I hope you can relate.

The bushes were all growing,
ugly as they were,
mangled, tangled, reaching
for what they were before.

The tree was overgrown then,
the path it overtook.
I was just because the people
weren’t there to look.

All it needed was a little love,
some pruning here and there,
and now the leaves and stems and grass
can breathe the autumn air.

The people can return now,
and they can walk the path,
and sit beside the bushes
and take a cool sunbath.

The young adults will grow up,
as the bushes did before,
some mangled, tangled, reaching
for something so much more.

These people, they will gather,
and you can see each face,
because the dreams they each held,
no longer they embrace.

Somewhere along the pathway,
a branch would get too long,
no gardener would prune it,
no longer did it belong.

All it needed was a little love,
if the world had only seen,
that the mangled, tangled reacher
could have grown into a tree.

-mdl

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feelings
perfect, undisturbed, unbroken
ruined, carelessly tossed around
lost in waved of black
once beautiful, now ugly
lost in rugged brown
closing in, tight can’t breathe
can’t think, hurting pain
see, something, someone, I want
to be free, but I can’t
lost, to be lost, horrible
oh, to be like water, beautiful
water, perfect, undisturbed
unbroken
lost in waves of black

(written on a riverboat on the Savannah river as a stick drifted through the water.)

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The original Langston Hughes poem can be found here.
Here is my reply:
I mother, too,
have faced problems.
My life has not
been a walk in the park.

I have stepped
on rocks
stubbed my toe
hurt my knee on the ground

I tripped
stumbled
ran into a tree here and there.
but

If I am wise, I will learn
from your mistakes
and mine
and grow

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Garrett told me to write an I AM poem in Iambic pentameter about IAM’s dog food. So obviously it’s a crap poem, but here it is:
IAMS dog food’s REAL thoughts:

I am with crunch and yet i am so soft
I wonder if I will be poured today
I hear the dog Bella coming to me.
I see the bowl, it’s green, I’m going in.
I want to be back in the bag so safe.
I am with crunch and yet i am so soft.

I pretend to be gross so I can live.
I feel the teeth of the dog bite. Oh No!
I touch other kernels of food ’side me.
I worry I will get eaten so soon.
I cry because this was my one purpose.
I am with crunch and yet I am so soft

I understand why I must be eaten.
I say “Bella, do with me what you will.”
I dream someday I will roam free again.
I try to squirm away from the dogs mouth.
I hope that this will all end very soon.
I am with crunch and yet I am so soft.

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I am free and often forgotten.
I wonder why she did not swim.
I hear her soul singing sweetly to me.
I see her lover’s heart fall to pieces.
I want to save her.
I am free and often forgotten.
I pretend she is living and merely floating.
I feel despair as she;s given up trying.
I touch her hair, her face, her back, her feet.
I worry that I am responsible for not trying harder.
I cry for her an my tears flow with her.
I am free and often forgotten.
I understand that she is gone, to sing now for eternity.
I say, “Swim, Ophelia, Swim,” but her song is louder.
I dream of her, a living being; washed away.
I try and push her to the surface.
I hope that she is at peace.
I am free and often forgotten.

I am the river of the eternal slumber.

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tail lights fade into the distance
while uncertainty fills my mind
streetlamps blinde my vision
and no truth there i find

i reach for things unsearched for
i grasp at thoughts unknown
i seek the truth that isn’t there
but still your love has shown

i trust you with my whole heart
i that it’s time well-spent
i know you will not leave me
but in my heart there’s still a dent

when tail lights finally leave my mind
i know a love in you i’ll find

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